Bird

Random dude (to Brendan): Are you Dutch? Your bird's got amazing glasses.

Blunt

Random Drunk Girl: Can I borrow your glasses?
Me: No.
Random Drunk Girl: Just for 2 seconds, please?
Me: No.

Whoa

Guy (asking my friends something): .... WHOA -- THOSE ARE GREAT GLASSES. Nice lips too.

Bubbles

Guy (At dinner with friends): Can I blow bubbles through your glasses?
Me: Through the holes on the sides?
Guy: Yes.

Invasion of space (aka I love the human race)

No comments. No words.

Me: (on the queue for the toilet)
Girl: (comes up behind me and takes her finger and physically pushes my glasses up)
Me: Oh...
Girl: You needed someone to push them up y'know...
Me: (?)

Epic

Girl: YOUR GLASSES ARE EPIC!!!
Me: Thanks.

My sarcasm detector is way more sensitive than yours

Dude: I like your glasses... like no... really... I like them.